Don't Say a Word
by Quitealiar
Summary: It's hard to grow up silent. Harry Potter can attest to that, but, for him, it's even harder to talk. An AU story about selective mutism
1. He's Given Up Talking

**Hello. I am American and I will write with American spelling and grammar. Please do not "correct" me. I'm fine with you correcting any phrases I use. I'm not sure exactly what sayings are just American, and what sayings a British person is likely to use. That's fine, just please don't correct me for using the American spelling.**

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><p>Many children were being brought to Stonewall Elementary by their parents that day. In fact, every child was, seeing as it was the first day of school, except for the small boy with messy black hair who was already sitting at his table in the kindergarten room. Most of the other children in his class were settling down by the toys. They conversed among themselves, while they waited for their very first day of school to begin.<p>

The small boy at the table did not join them.

The teacher came in smiling and told the children to settle down and sit with her at the "circle rug." She didn't see the small child in the excitement, but he came and sat down anyway.

"All right. We're going to go around the circle and introduce ourselves, okay? I'll start. My name is Miss Linda." She smiled and pointed to the child next to her.

The little girl smiled brightly and said, "I'm Janie!" The boy next to her introduced himself as Jonathon, and around the circle they went.

Then, they came to the small boy who had not played with the others. He did not offer his name. The teacher frowned, but didn't suspect anything. She had had children before who had been silent. They usually just missed their parents, and didn't like being in the new situation. They always ended up speaking later that day or within the next few days.

"You're named Harry, aren't you?" The boy nodded, and they went on to the next child.

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><p>Over the next few days, Harry would play with the other children, but he didn't say anything to them. Miss Linda was a little concerned, but decided that she would only say something if the little boy hadn't said anything by the end of the week. After all, he was playing normally, if silently, and he had seemed to make some friends.<p>

She calmed a bit on the fourth day of school. They had been sitting in a circle on the rug, as they did at the beginning of every day, and singing "Old MacDonald." They had come to a pause in the song. No child seemed to be able to think of another animal. Just then, they were all startled by a noise from Harry.

"Pig!" He screamed out, seeming almost condescending. Linda smiled, both at the fact that Harry had finally said something, and at the image of him saying what he seemed to be thinking. _Come on, Pig! One of the simplest farm animals!_

She and the children continued singing, but this time she could hear Harry singing softly along with them.

Harry continued to talk the rest of the year, though very rarely, and usually rather quietly when he did so. Miss Linda kept a more careful watch for teasing than she normally did, afraid that the boy's withdrawn nature would have the other children ostracizing him. She did have to stop Dudley, Harry's cousin, and a few other children from teasing him and the children he made friends with multiple times, but most of the children seemed to accept the young boy, which made Miss Linda grateful. She rather liked the boy, and hoped that he would continue to come out of his shell. At the end of the year, she warned the first-grade teachers about how the difficulties of teaching him, and to make sure he wasn't being teased. They took note of this, and Harry made friends as he grew, though he never really started talking.

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><p><strong>Okay, so this is an AU about if Harry had selective mutism. This is a condition which I myself suffer from, and some of Harry's experiences are based off of things that actually happened to me. And yes, I am giving Harry friends because all of my teachers took care to make sure that I wasn't teased, which helped a lot. Most people I became friends with weren't very close to me, admittedly, but I did have friends. I can see Harry's teachers making an effort to stop the teasing of his siblings and of any people who don't understand his condition.<strong>


	2. Don't Say A Word

**, I know that in the books Harry wasn't a member of a library, but I can see Harry discovering books and loving them, especially because they're an escape.**

In first grade, Harry went to the public library every day after school. His relatives didn't care because it made it easier for them to ignore "the little freak" in their words. His cousin was a bit disappointed at the fact that he no longer had an easy way to mock Harry, but didn't bother to follow him to the library. He had mostly stopped bothering to tease him when he realized that the teachers and librarians at his school weren't just going to let him do it.

The librarian had greeted him every day, and she had been annoyed when he didn't respond, but about a month into his daily visits, she heard him greet her back. It had only been a quiet, "Hi" but she smiled. They never had full conversations, but the two would converse with sign language. The librarian liked when Harry came there. Heemed so infectiously happy when he was there, unlike how he acted during at home and in a lot of his classes.

The library became his home, much more so than his relatives' house. The children's section had a lot of small chairs and tables to sit at, and there was a little couch in the corner. Harry loved to curl up on the couch with one of his books and read. He had a bit of trouble at first because his relatives had never read to him, or helped him learn when he was younger, but as he got more experience with reading, he started excelling far past his grade level. By the time he was seven, he was reading at a high school level.

He loved reading. It let him escape to somewhere else, be someone else. It let him get away from his awkwardness, leave the pain of socialization. He gained a vocabulary better than one would expect from someone of his age. He ended getting better grades than most of his classmates simply because he was genuinely liked learning. He mostly developed that with his reading. He had been a curious person before, but his love of learning had come from the love of books he developed.

Soon, he had read around half the books in the library. He usually checked out up to six books at a time, and would have gotten more if he could carry them all. He usually finished an average sized book in a day, so late fees were never a problem.

This, therefore, caused some confusion when he received a letter in the mail. He never got letters, not even from his friends, Benjamin, Lucas, and Janie, at least not normally. He wasn't very close to any of them, so the four usually only talked to him at school, or if they ran into each other. He doubted that they would be sending him a letter, and the only other person he could imagine sending him a letter was the library.

He picked up the letter to look at the return address. He frowned, seeing that there was none. He brought the mail into the kitchen and put the letter on the chair before he sat down. He figured that his relatives wouldn't care that he had gotten a letter, but he figured that he should hide it, just in case. Plus, he loved pretending that it would be something secret and important. He knew that it likely was just from a classmate, but he loved the idea anyway.

After breakfast was over, Harry headed to his bedroom. He had slept in the small closet under the stairs for a while, but one of his teachers had thought that he might be being abused or neglected. From then on, Harry had slept in the second bedroom, and he'd had a few outfits of his own. Most of his clothes were still his cousins, but he did have a couple of old T-shirts and a few pairs of jeans that were his own. This had stopped the rumors that he were being neglected, something that greatly relieved his aunt and uncle. After all, "normal people" aren't rumored to be neglecting their nephew.

Once he arrived in his room, he ripped open the letter, reading through the first few sentences before snorting. Well, that explained why there was no return address. Dudley had probably addressed it to him and left it at the doorstep. It was really stupid. Exactly the kind of "prank" Dudley would do. Though, the handwriting didn't really look like Dudley's... Oh well, he probably had one of his friends write it or something. He tossed the letter into his garbage can.

**Hey, any ideas on what house Harry should end up in? I have a pretty good idea of where he'll end up, but I want your opinions, anyway.**


	3. Not A Single Word

**All right. Well, this chapter is mainly to clear up some confusion there seems to be about selective mutism. Justpucky at least, and probably many others, seem to see a cowardice in selective mutism. Selective mutism is not a choice to be silent. It is a mental problem that makes the conversation near impossible. In fact, Harry is being braver than most with it because he does talk to some people and he made a friendship with the librarian. Also, I have revised this and the last chapter. I realized I went to far in trying to show Harry's natural bravery and ended up going too far.  
><strong>

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><p>"Hello, Harry," Abby Davies said as Harry sat down. They worked on a project together. She had said that to him almost every time he came in the classroom.<p>

"Hello." Harry responded softly. Abby looked at him in surprise. Harry had said the same every time she had greeted him, but she had never heard it before. She gave him a small, one he tentatively returned. They sat down to work on their project.

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><p>It was lunchtime. Harry was just about to go sit down with Benjamin, Lucas, and Janie, when some of his other classmates came over to him. He was confused, but stopped walking.<p>

"Why don't you ever talk?" Spoke up William Faber. Harry's heart sunk. _Oh please not this._

_Because I can't.  
><em>

"Well, you really should start talking. It's really weird." Harry tried to thank them for what they probably thought was good advice and say goodbye, but the words wouldn't come out of his throat. _Just say "Thank you. Goodbye." Just say it. It's not hard. Everyone does it._

Still, the words didn't come. Harry forced back the shame and turned to walk over to his normal lunch table.

"Stuck-up git." He heard muttered behind him.

"Thinks he better than us."

"-just trying to help." Harry forced back the angry retort that came to mind. He wouldn't be able to say it anyway.

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><p>Harry was headed to the house from the library. He saw that someone had moved in across the street. A little girl and a little boy about Harry's age stood in front of their house. He would pass right by them in getting back to number four. He walked pass, not acknowledging them. The girl called out as he passed by.<p>

"Hello! We just moved in. Who are you?"

Harry turned and waved at them. He knew he wouldn't be able to speak, but he hoped they wouldn't think him too rude.

"Do you want to play? We're really bored." This was also from the girl. It was quite clear who was the leader in this brother/sister relationship.

Harry shook his head before he suddenly realised that this might seem rude. "I-I just." Harry trailed off, unable to force the rest of the words out. He attempted to sign something to them, but it was clear that they didn't understand.

"Oh. All right."

The next day, the two arrived at his classroom. They were announced as new students, twins. Mary and Jack Locke. Harry overheard them mentioning him to a few of the other students. He sighed at hearing what his classmate had to say to the twins.

"Oh, he's just strange. Doesn't talk to anyone except his friends, and not even them much. Surprised you got anything out of him."

The teachers always tried to prevent teasing, and they usually were successful. He wouldn't even had had friends if not for that. Still, they couldn't prevent all the hurtful remarks. He shrugged. Oh well. At least he wasn't alone. He sat down quietly next to Benjamin.

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><p>"<em>Dear Miss Taylor, <em>

_I was wondering why I had been getting a worse grade on some of my assignments. If you could please tell me so that I can fix the problem, I would appreciate it. Thank you."_ Harry carefully wrote this out on a piece of paper. He knew that this should be something he put effort into. He didn't want his grades to suffer for reasons he didn't understand. However, he wouldn't be able to actually go up to his teacher and broach the topic.

The next day, Miss Taylor came up to him when classes were over.

"Hello, Harry. I wanted to talk to you about the note you left on my desk." Harry nodded, feeling uncomfortable.

"Well, that is because you don't really talk to the other kids, and you rarely answer questions. I know you know the answers to them." Harry cringed. _Don't you know that you're only making it worse?_

"And look at the way you're standing now. I just want to help you." Harry nodded, swallowing hard, before correcting his posture. He straightened his shoulders and put his head up before leaving the classroom. As soon as he left, his shoulders slumped and he bowed his head.


End file.
